Endless Torture (Poem)

I thought I'd leave you all behind,
The grains of mem'ry, washed away;
And yet, I always seem to find
I think of you, still, day by day.
I'd ask you leave, don't bother me;
False promises, your hope a lie.
It tempts, but nothing I can see
Will bring you back before I die.

I tried to leave, find other hearts;
But karma on a cosmic scale
'Spite distances extreme apart
Makes memories that never pale.
These memories, they punish sin
Unspeakable: my fevered love.
Regrets bombard and wear me thin
As angels leave the sky above.

"I want you back": a thought I fight
'Cause fiction's not reality.
But mind and flesh screams day and night
To consummate this "you and me."
A fight for you I take alone
'Cause no one wants to hear me weep;
These songs and poems on my phone
All secrets made for me to keep.

I know what's left of us is gone.
Your smile's meant for someone new;
Your words and love and heart will dawn,
Attached to him like morning dew.
I know this, but my dreams won't fade,
So on and on I masquerade
As being fine, but I'm afraid:
Is there an end to this charade?